Tuesday 29 July 2014

Tiffany's Edwardian Tea Room, Grand Pier, Weston-super-Mare

This is, for Weston at least, an attempt at gentility and refinement. It is definitely a cut above the usual seaside fare of fried, sugary doughnuts, fish and chips, ice creams and chicken tikka masala flavoured rock*. It is situated right at the end of the newly-refurbished Grand Pier. Access is absolutely fine, though you may have to weave in and out of the attractions of the arcade.

Being at the end of the Pier means that you have magnificent views of -- well, an awful lot of sand and mud most of the time. This is Weston after all. Having said that, it is still easy on the eyes and a balm to the nerves. The décor, though modelled on the Edwardian style and described as such in all the paperwork, is closer to Grandma's front room circa 1950; but it is just as clean and scrubbed with pristine white linen. The menu hints at gentility by hiding the fish and chips amongst a plethora of sandwiches and cream teas - but a whopping £18.95 for the latter is extortionate, even by Cotswold standards.

We only had drinks as we had already partaken of the more traditional seaside fare. The service was good, the Earl Grey was Twinings and there were at least three cups in the pot. But this is Weston after all. Ask for an Americano, be charged £2.25, not including the £1 entrance fee for the Pier itself. And get a small black coffee. Served in a teacup.



*I kid you not. Black pudding flavour, too. This is Weston, remember.

Wednesday 16 July 2014

Fourteas, Stratford-upon-Avon

There are steps up to the doorway but, frankly, I found that in keeping with the entire ambience of the place. This is, after all, a time before door ramps and rails, more a time of bombs, rations, and blackouts.

Fortunately, this is not the side of wartime Britain on show here. This is very much the pack-up-your-troubles on your way to Tipperary to see your boogie woogie bugle boy from Company B aspect, where you are asked to keep calm and keep Mum. It is all designed to get you in the mood: windows are taped, staff are dressed in uniforms designed by Claire Dempsey, modelled on the headscarf-and-pinny-look familiar from even my own family photos. Tea is served in pale green Beryl Ware utility cups with the banding on the saucer and Deco curlicues on the handles.


And the only thing to do here is to truly accentuate the positive. This is not in the least bit gimmicky, or cheesy and, more importantly, not the least bit tourist-led. There is no sense that local people are sidelined in favour of visitors and the most telling evidence of this is the price of everything. A quick perusal of the menu, which is in the form of a ration book, shows a mere £13 for two rounds of eggs on toast and two pots of tea both of which served a minimum of four cups each*. I went for the Earl Grey. Sourced from the Golden Monkey Tea Company in Warwick, this is Sri Lankan in origin, super fragranced, very orangey aftertaste. The pot of leaf tea comes with a timer to ensure that the leaves are properly steeped to avoid the face-gurning stew so familiar to less sophisticated establishments.

Best poached eggs in town. No fancy schmancy boil-water-in-a-saucepan-and cross-your-fingers-you-don't-end-up-with-egg-soup malarkey. Just good old fashioned use of a poacher to make stunning eggs with the soft centre just perfect, and plump, glossy whites with the right amount of wobble. The scrambled eggs were creamy in texture on hot, buttery toast. Eat outdoors in the tea garden, or by the Anderson shelter, or just stay indoors and hum along to the Andrews Sisters.**

There is really only one way to properly describe this establishment: bei mir bist du schon. It means you're grand.




*You may have noticed, oh faithful bloggee, the lack of lattes these days and the profusion of tea . This is due to a combination of (a) age and (b) side effects of prescription drugs

** although you shouldn't sing along too loudly. They don't like that.

Thursday 3 July 2014

Cafe, Chedworth Villa

This is a small place, part of the purpose-built entrance to the ruins of the Roman villa, but easily accessible. The Romans were great ones for flat surfaces and even though it's a modern building, all the straight lines, squares and terracotta shades evoke the history without anyone actually trashing the local wildlife and offering stuffed dormice.

The menu is supplied by Huffkins bakery from Cheltenham - sandwiches, cakes, biscuits, soups, jacket potatoes. I opted for the egg mayo sandwich and a cup of tea. The sandwich was white bread with a generous slug of free-range egg filling and rocket salad. Which is fine by me. Drew opted for the jacket potato with homemade coleslaw, meaning the filling was shredded with carrots, red cabbage, and onions, accompanied by salad leaves. My tea was the house blend, an aromatic, smooth Assam that tempered the sometimes astringent Darjeeling in the mix. Drew had the filter coffee, a hand roasted Cotswold blend with a slightly woody aftertaste.

As the café is served by spring water rather than mains, there is a limit to the supply and hence the amount of washing up. Everything is therefore served on or in disposable tableware, although, being the National Trust, the eco-credentials are impeccable. Where possible everything is recyclable and there are helpfully labelled bins; although if you are anything like me and have forgotten your glasses this can result in a lot of brow-furrowing and quizzical squinting.

Not a big fan of the Romans and never was; but it is tempting when faced with all the ruins to launch into some theatrics in the manner of I, Claudius, rolling and hooting and declaiming in proper old-school Blessedness.





Access: *****
Latte/Coffee: *****

Wednesday 2 July 2014

Cotswold Food Store and Cafe, Longborough, Moreton-in-Marsh

This is a converted barn in the middle of nowhere with every sign indicating that the foodstuff is either fresh, sustainably-sourced, seasonal, regional, local, home-cooked, or all of the above. And you just know that they sell game and venison and things like greengages and tins of lobster bisque.

Access is excellent, plenty of room for wheels, parking virtually outside the entrance and moveable tables and chairs for ease of passage. The look is scrubbed pine, blonde wood, creams, biscuit-coloured Cotswold stone, with a pale blue flooring that looks - well, there is only one word for it really. It's lovely.

I opted for the salmon and cream cheese baguette, Drew for the quiche salad. The Earl Grey tea came in a gigantic pot making two cups each. The brand is the Wiltshire Tea Company is known as 'Earl Grey Light', so the result is a super-pungent drink, more aromatic and orangey-tasting. My baguette was warm, lots of salmon and no suspicious-looking brown-grey bits, accompanied by a few salted crisps and some leaves. Drew had the salmon and chive quiche, also served warm, creamy in texture with a crisp but firm base, not too crumby. The potato salad was served with a lemony-mayonnaise. He ate all of his salad.




Access: *****