This is not an establishment designed for comfort or leisurely enjoyment of a meal. Think of it as a kind of Ryanair of fish and chip places - it is a lot more expensive than you think and you need to be alert to add ons. Ask for sauces and you are directed to a display of condiment sachets and charged for the privilege. This is a place made to shift large groups of people, very, very quickly. Queue, serve, pay, eat, out. No debit cards are accepted, which I suspect has less to do with the bank charges imposed upon the business and more to do with cash being quicker. Service is perfunctory; staff are not there to wait on you but to clear the tables quickly when you leave.
The whole layout of the place is akin to that of the seaside chippy, all shining tiles and formica, tables and chairs bolted to the floor, with an ice cream franchise and pictures of fish on the walls. There are tables and chairs outside, the cheap aluminium stuff. Access inside and out is impossible. Of course it is - wheelchairs are far too slow. There is a step up into the place and the seating plan means that the aisles are too narrow to negotiate and the fixed furniture means you cannot create a through route by shifting some chairs. Your best bet, if mobility is limited, is to look through the doors to the right. There is a table for four flush against the right hand window where a wheelchair can be placed on the end of the table. The outside area is no good either. The tables and chairs have been crammed onto a raised platform, and, assuming you could negotiate that step, there is simply not enough room to manoeuvre.
It is not the best fish and chips in Stratford, but by no means the worst. The cod is not substantial as the portions tend to be covered with a thick layer of batter. It is quite tasty and with a satisfying gravelly crunch. The chips are very thick cut, not always crispy, but golden brown and fluffy on the inside. Hot, too. And by that I mean not snatch-and-swallow hot but hoohoohoohoohoo hot.
The best option is to eschew the restaurant altogether and opt for the takeaway if you are not put off by the queue - or send Drew. Find a spot on the Bancroft Gardens and eat there. There is not a lot that can beat sitting on a bench together eating too-hot, salty chips with the ever present threat of rain, the drifts of pungent wet leaves, the sting of cold mucky river water in your nostrils, and fat, greedy animals vying for your attention.*
*And that's just the kids. The geese are a pain in the bum, too
Access: *****
Monday, 11 November 2013
Monday, 2 September 2013
Quicklys, Stratford-upon-Avon
This establishment had only been here for five years when I arrived in Stratford, named then as 'Mistress Quicklys'. When it changed hands it was referred to as 'MistressQuicklysaswas'. Now, having returned to a version of the original and calling itself 'Quicklys' I am determined that it should be known as 'MistressQuicklysaswasandnowisagain'. And there is still no apostrophe.
Access is not too bad, the place is fairly large, although when it is full you may need some help in shifting the furniture. This is one of the few places in town that offers full table service. There are some booths to sit in that offer a lovely view of the Bard's Walk arcade, especially the Scholl shop and its chiropody services.
I had a ham and cheese panini which was pleasant enough. One thick slice of ham and some fairly mature cheese, and a small salad consisting of leaves, a quarter of a tomato and a tablespoon of catering tub coleslaw, with a few ready salted crisps. Drew had the tandoori chicken and mushroom. He found it hot, and not too spicy, but with a rather small portion of chicken chunks. He couldn't really taste the mushroom. The latte was good, not very strong but a smooth flavour with a thick but silky foam.
The outside tables here are the only ones on Henley Street that can accommodate all weathers. During the day, if it is absolutely boiling in the sunshine these are the only chairs and tables in the shade. Conversely, in the morning they have the sunshine when all other Henley Street establishments are shrouded in moody gloominess. You are still likely to be encroached upon by the noise and stink of delivery traffic and down here they can park on the opposite pavement and so sometimes hang around for a while longer. Still, don your shades and watch the business of tourism stocking up and preparing for the onslaught of visitors. Or nod off and bang your head on the table.
Access: *****
Latte: *****
Access is not too bad, the place is fairly large, although when it is full you may need some help in shifting the furniture. This is one of the few places in town that offers full table service. There are some booths to sit in that offer a lovely view of the Bard's Walk arcade, especially the Scholl shop and its chiropody services.
I had a ham and cheese panini which was pleasant enough. One thick slice of ham and some fairly mature cheese, and a small salad consisting of leaves, a quarter of a tomato and a tablespoon of catering tub coleslaw, with a few ready salted crisps. Drew had the tandoori chicken and mushroom. He found it hot, and not too spicy, but with a rather small portion of chicken chunks. He couldn't really taste the mushroom. The latte was good, not very strong but a smooth flavour with a thick but silky foam.
The outside tables here are the only ones on Henley Street that can accommodate all weathers. During the day, if it is absolutely boiling in the sunshine these are the only chairs and tables in the shade. Conversely, in the morning they have the sunshine when all other Henley Street establishments are shrouded in moody gloominess. You are still likely to be encroached upon by the noise and stink of delivery traffic and down here they can park on the opposite pavement and so sometimes hang around for a while longer. Still, don your shades and watch the business of tourism stocking up and preparing for the onslaught of visitors. Or nod off and bang your head on the table.
Access: *****
Latte: *****
Saturday, 3 August 2013
The Coffee Mill Restaurant, Lynmouth, Devon
This place is very deceptive. Drew picked it out because it had an almost Greek ambience, an outdoor covered space with trellises and plants. From a distance it certainly looks that way. However, on closer inspection, the area is quite shabby. I am not a fan of cheap outdoor furniture, but I do understand the necessity in terms of saving money. However, this was really cheap stuff, all quite unloved.
Still, the menu is reasonably priced and, it has to be said, when you are in the holiday mood, you tend to be more forgiving. I had a tuna mayo sandwich and Drew ordered himself a Ploughman's Platter. I was slightly taken aback to be served - a sandwich. I mean, just two slices of generic pre-sliced white loaf and a catering tub spread of tuna mayo. No salad, no crisps. Now I realize, oh faithful bloggee, that I make a fuss about accompanying salads of varying qualities and sometimes - dare I say it - I don't even eat the green stuff, having a pathological aversion to anything designated healthy. But, nothing? At all? For £3.95?
Drew fared better with his Ploughman's Lunch. Two slices of ham, mini baguette with accompanying pack of Lakeland butter, five slices of cucumber, three thin slices of apple, giant pickled onion, a pot of apple chutney, a pot of tiny gherkins and five or six grapes called a 'garnish'. I sound sarcastic, I know. Drew thought it was all good stuff, very filling with a good mix of textures - crunchy onion, sweet smooth chutney, oily gherkins and sharp apples.
If you are hungry and tired, having dragged your oxygen tank from the beach, it will do.
Drew fared better with his Ploughman's Lunch. Two slices of ham, mini baguette with accompanying pack of Lakeland butter, five slices of cucumber, three thin slices of apple, giant pickled onion, a pot of apple chutney, a pot of tiny gherkins and five or six grapes called a 'garnish'. I sound sarcastic, I know. Drew thought it was all good stuff, very filling with a good mix of textures - crunchy onion, sweet smooth chutney, oily gherkins and sharp apples.
If you are hungry and tired, having dragged your oxygen tank from the beach, it will do.
The Bell Inn, Watchet, Somerset
The real reason for going to this place is, of course, the legend that Samuel Taylor Coleridge stayed there and began to write 'The Ancient Mariner'. Having said that, Watchet is so titchy and all the eating establishments close relatively early, there is a limited choice. This place boasts of being a 16th century coaching inn - so access is impossible. The place is set slightly below ground level with narrow corridors and doorways. You will need a Drew to help with steering and shift some furniture to clear a path for you.
The layout is bog-standard pub with uneven chairs and scratched, wobbly tables. The food is quite standard pub fare too, but cheap and filling. I had the ham, egg and chips. A tasty, dark ham with two well-cooked fried eggs, golden and thick yolks. Drew had the chilli con carne which arrived on a long plate laid out in thirds with chilli, rice and Doritos. The chilli was thick, plenty of meat very, very hot and spicy. I sampled Exmoor Fox ale - lovely, almost chewable malt texture, the tiniest hint of citrus fizz on the tongue, smooth roll down a thirsty throat.
I liked this place simply because I like Watchet. Tell you what, though. I am never going to a wedding there.
The layout is bog-standard pub with uneven chairs and scratched, wobbly tables. The food is quite standard pub fare too, but cheap and filling. I had the ham, egg and chips. A tasty, dark ham with two well-cooked fried eggs, golden and thick yolks. Drew had the chilli con carne which arrived on a long plate laid out in thirds with chilli, rice and Doritos. The chilli was thick, plenty of meat very, very hot and spicy. I sampled Exmoor Fox ale - lovely, almost chewable malt texture, the tiniest hint of citrus fizz on the tongue, smooth roll down a thirsty throat.
I liked this place simply because I like Watchet. Tell you what, though. I am never going to a wedding there.
White Horse Inn, Washford, Somerset
This is the kind of place that should exist in Stratford, or even just around it. Somewhere rural, not touristy but not ignoring the fact that tourists exist; and local. You know what I mean: local. You sit in the dining area with your wine and sea bass and you can hear them at the bar sitting in vests and jogging bottoms, with a laugh that sounds like 'RAhahaha RAhahahar!'.
This place is textbook rural, but not because it has been set up that way. It really is that rural - low, squatting building, frontage obscured by all sorts of climbing plants, low ceilings, uneven steps, beams. The interior smelt beery, and was slightly dark and festooned with agricultural paraphernalia, in this case related to sheep, so shears, combs and funny looking hinged things with chains*. Carpets were red and gold, seating banquette style, or what appeared to be someone's kitchen chairs. Access was, of course, limited, if not impossible. There is a garden across the lane which has plenty of access, but food and drinks are not brought to the outside tables.
The food was superb. The menu was gastropub quality. We had the sea bass fishcakes with lime and ginger. Crunchy coating with a smooth texture and tangy aftertaste, subtle aroma of fish, small kick of lime in the back of the throat. Chips were fairly chunky, golden brown, piping hot, not especially crunchy but a generous portion. Large salad consisting of leaves, cubes of red and yellow peppers, about three quarters of a tomato and two or three red onion rings. All of which was heavily drizzled with a pungent French dressing. Drew had the scampi on our second visit which had the chips and salad and an eye-popping sixteen nuggets of scampi. Let's be honest - you don't get that around here.
Something else that does not happen around here - two generous meals, large glass of wine and water was a mere £21.
This place is textbook rural, but not because it has been set up that way. It really is that rural - low, squatting building, frontage obscured by all sorts of climbing plants, low ceilings, uneven steps, beams. The interior smelt beery, and was slightly dark and festooned with agricultural paraphernalia, in this case related to sheep, so shears, combs and funny looking hinged things with chains*. Carpets were red and gold, seating banquette style, or what appeared to be someone's kitchen chairs. Access was, of course, limited, if not impossible. There is a garden across the lane which has plenty of access, but food and drinks are not brought to the outside tables.
The food was superb. The menu was gastropub quality. We had the sea bass fishcakes with lime and ginger. Crunchy coating with a smooth texture and tangy aftertaste, subtle aroma of fish, small kick of lime in the back of the throat. Chips were fairly chunky, golden brown, piping hot, not especially crunchy but a generous portion. Large salad consisting of leaves, cubes of red and yellow peppers, about three quarters of a tomato and two or three red onion rings. All of which was heavily drizzled with a pungent French dressing. Drew had the scampi on our second visit which had the chips and salad and an eye-popping sixteen nuggets of scampi. Let's be honest - you don't get that around here.
Something else that does not happen around here - two generous meals, large glass of wine and water was a mere £21.
* I don't know. I'm not a farmer.
Cotswold Lavender Tearoom, Broadway
This is a small but elegant little place set in acres of lavender fields. The café is fresh feeling, all scrubbed pine, large bright windows, pink cheeked young staff. The menu is a small one, but really perfectly formed. It is the kind of place that you would expect to sell home made stuff and it does. Lavender scones? Check. Teacakes with butter and optional jam? Check. Victoria sponge? Check. Selection of fruit and herbal teas? Check and check.
Access is OK - the car park and driveway are very gravelly, so expect a bumpy journey but as the shop and tearooms are in a converted barn there is enough room. There are also seats outside if the weather is conducive.
Sadly, though, the place is in danger of being wrecked. I don't mean physically. We have been visiting here fairly regularly, and it is has been busy but never overrun. Now it looks as though the coach firms have discovered it. On our last visit, the place was a sea of tourists. I suppose that makes me a snob, wanting to keep this particular discovery to myself; but the whole ambience of the place is ruined by Cotswolds tourism doing what it does best. That is, taking a small, attractive environment and unloading hordes people into it so that the charm of the place is stomped beneath pounding feet. Yes, the lavender farm is beautiful - the views are stunning, the smell intoxicating. It has an odd, very faint buttery vanilla scent, not at all what you would expect. But all you could see were people's hot, shiny faces and all you could smell was traffic fumes. The tearoom itself was swamped. Four cyclists were stretched out on chairs, regaling each other with their effing adventures, what an effing brilliant time they were having raising all this effing money. People clogged the queue wanting to know if there were any 'dinners', there were no seats inside or out - and it was just bloody awful.
Still, we Shakespeareans are hardy souls, able to weather the direst adversity. If you visit here and find coaches and crowds, I recommend foregoing the whimsy that is usually one's default position in times of crisis. Instead, adopt a stern demeanour and if anyone squeezes past you in a plastic cagoule and oversized, over-laced trainers, smack 'em one.
Access is OK - the car park and driveway are very gravelly, so expect a bumpy journey but as the shop and tearooms are in a converted barn there is enough room. There are also seats outside if the weather is conducive.
Sadly, though, the place is in danger of being wrecked. I don't mean physically. We have been visiting here fairly regularly, and it is has been busy but never overrun. Now it looks as though the coach firms have discovered it. On our last visit, the place was a sea of tourists. I suppose that makes me a snob, wanting to keep this particular discovery to myself; but the whole ambience of the place is ruined by Cotswolds tourism doing what it does best. That is, taking a small, attractive environment and unloading hordes people into it so that the charm of the place is stomped beneath pounding feet. Yes, the lavender farm is beautiful - the views are stunning, the smell intoxicating. It has an odd, very faint buttery vanilla scent, not at all what you would expect. But all you could see were people's hot, shiny faces and all you could smell was traffic fumes. The tearoom itself was swamped. Four cyclists were stretched out on chairs, regaling each other with their effing adventures, what an effing brilliant time they were having raising all this effing money. People clogged the queue wanting to know if there were any 'dinners', there were no seats inside or out - and it was just bloody awful.
Still, we Shakespeareans are hardy souls, able to weather the direst adversity. If you visit here and find coaches and crowds, I recommend foregoing the whimsy that is usually one's default position in times of crisis. Instead, adopt a stern demeanour and if anyone squeezes past you in a plastic cagoule and oversized, over-laced trainers, smack 'em one.
Friday, 5 July 2013
Snowshill Manor Restaurant, Snowshill
Wow! This place is great! Situated to the right of the ticket office and shop it is a stand alone house with a large terrace overlooking some quite magnificent views. And sheep.
Access was a little tricky as there were quite a few steps to negotiate. There is a path that you can use but it might be better to use the buggy services on offer. This is excellent. I mean, I was almost tempted to forget the house altogether in favour of being ferried about on a golf buggy free of charge.
The restaurant does not open until 11am and we were there quite early so they didn't seem to be quite ready. The only hot food was soup but they clearly offer more as the specials board was advertising the ubiquitous National Trust quiche-with-everything lunches. Or rather - and this is a new trend I have noticed - offering 'flan'. Drew had the soup and I had an egg mayo sandwich. The soup was a thick concoction, plenty of vegetables and served with a generous portion of granary bread. My sandwich was not bad, filling very creamy, fairly thick slice of bread. We shared a slice of gluten-free banana bread, a generous portion, iced with slices of banana on top. The cake was lovely - very dense in texture, not many crumbs, the sign of a good moist cake. My latte was mild, served in a cup and saucer although not so much foamy as frothed with bubbles. The surface looked as though someone had blown in the coffee through a straw.
Sit on the terrace if you can. Specifically, on the table to your right at the very end of the terrace. There you get the best view. This is a good place to take visitors - if you are members of the NT then it won't cost anything. Views like these are designed to be bragged about. Especially if you are entertaining visitors for whom the Cotswolds is new. Stand at the edge, point vaguely in the direction of a road in the distance and say 'There's a place over there called Loose Chippings. We should drive through it on the way back'.
Access: without buggy ***** with buggy *****
Latte: *****
Access was a little tricky as there were quite a few steps to negotiate. There is a path that you can use but it might be better to use the buggy services on offer. This is excellent. I mean, I was almost tempted to forget the house altogether in favour of being ferried about on a golf buggy free of charge.
The restaurant does not open until 11am and we were there quite early so they didn't seem to be quite ready. The only hot food was soup but they clearly offer more as the specials board was advertising the ubiquitous National Trust quiche-with-everything lunches. Or rather - and this is a new trend I have noticed - offering 'flan'. Drew had the soup and I had an egg mayo sandwich. The soup was a thick concoction, plenty of vegetables and served with a generous portion of granary bread. My sandwich was not bad, filling very creamy, fairly thick slice of bread. We shared a slice of gluten-free banana bread, a generous portion, iced with slices of banana on top. The cake was lovely - very dense in texture, not many crumbs, the sign of a good moist cake. My latte was mild, served in a cup and saucer although not so much foamy as frothed with bubbles. The surface looked as though someone had blown in the coffee through a straw.
Sit on the terrace if you can. Specifically, on the table to your right at the very end of the terrace. There you get the best view. This is a good place to take visitors - if you are members of the NT then it won't cost anything. Views like these are designed to be bragged about. Especially if you are entertaining visitors for whom the Cotswolds is new. Stand at the edge, point vaguely in the direction of a road in the distance and say 'There's a place over there called Loose Chippings. We should drive through it on the way back'.
Access: without buggy ***** with buggy *****
Latte: *****
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