BHS Restaurant, Stratford-upon-Avon

You know what I am going to write, don't you? The very name has already conjured an image in your mind of plain fare and plastic chairs. All sorts of phrases are running through your mind like, 'family friendly', 'fish and chips', even 'slightly soggy lasagne'. You are right of course. This is a huge space on the second floor of the store, designed to cater for large numbers of hungry folk in search of cheap grub. It is a sort of 'does what it says on the tin' place - but I do not mean that as a criticism.  I was with my sisters and this is a perfect venue for that kind of catch-up occasion as a prelude to shopping. The sibs and I had breakfast, the six-item option which comes with toast. You choose from a bewildering array of beans, tomatoes, hash browns, fried bread, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages, mushrooms - and fried eggs are done on request. There is a £1.99 option where you don't choose the constituents of your meal and have to have a hot drink but that is a bargain. Toast is served with butter, all the food is what my Mum would call 'clean' - no gritty bits or brown crunchy edges - and the turnover is such that it is always piping hot.

Coffees come from a machine so the latte quality suffered - more of a slightly frothy milky coffee; but this is not a venue for the sophisticated coffee drinker. You get a decent mugful and besides, there are a multitude of soft drink alternatives.

Access is excellent, particularly around the food counter and I have always found staff helpful. It can get a little awkward manoeuvring around the tables and chairs as it gets busy.

Being such a large place the atmosphere is better conducive toward hectic, arm waving gossiping than say, a coffee shop. Even if you are on your own there are huge windows with a brilliant view down on the Bancroft Gardens. Sit with your back to the restaurant for some great people watching.

Useful venue for the oncoming zombie apocalypse, too. Good view of the oncoming hordes and plenty of furniture to fight off any incursions.





Latte: *****
Access: *****

Strada, Stratford-upon-Avon

This is a pricey place, but has a two course menu for a mere £10.50 which was the option we chose. Our starter was mozzarella and basil on ciabatta.Tasty, although Drew thought it could have done with heating up a llittle. The portion was rather meagre, just one slice; but the main course was generous enough. We went for a chargrilled chicken with roast potatoes and vegetables. It did have a specific name  - pollo something - but I cannot remember. The chicken was delicious, smoky but melt-in-the-mouth and Drew waxed lyrical about the mushrooms. Wine is expensive by the way - £6.50 for a large glass. Stick to the complementary bottle of water for a super cheap night out.

Access is fine but the bench-like seating can be a bit off-putting.

9.5.12 A 30% voucher tempted us to return. Our starter was rosemary garlic bread which was delicious. Aromatic rosemary on a salty, slightly crunchy bread. Divvy up the portions beforehand though to avoid beneath-the-breath hissed conversations as to who has the last slice. For the main this time around Drew had Spaghetti Ragu (posh spag bol) which he enjoyed. I had the Rigatoni Speck which is a posh version of pasta with ham and a cheese sauce. It was tasty and filling with enough sauce to coat the pasta pieces. Personally I prefer a thicker, gloopier sauce with every pasta piece drenched in cheesy goo; but then, I'm quite common.




Access: *****

Garden Restaurant, Wyevale Garden Centre, Black Hill, Stratford-upon-Avon

Quite a find, this. Access is excellent, plenty of space. Nice big windows where you can sit and discuss how this year the garden will be 'vintage boho'.  Knowing full well it will remain the same arid scrub-and-twigs look it has every season.

Food is excellent. It might even better deserve the appellation 'grub'. A basic menu - Fish and chips, jacket potatoes and sandwiches, cakes; but all made from local stuff and you can tell. My ham and cheese toastie was full of thick slices of ham and a generous wodge of cheese. Drew's jacket potato was overfilled with a creamy tuna mayo filling. Both had tiny salad accompaniments, consisting of a few leaves and a cherry tomato, but you won't care. Latte was mild and creamy, Fairtrade coffee, served in a good sized thirst quenching mugful. Join the Garden Club. Not because you can collect points but because it means you are eligible for some excellent meal deals. At one point earlier this year it was a mere fiver for two breakfasts if you had the Garden Club card. Ask for one as you order your food and on most occasions you are eligible for some sort of discount there and then.




Latte: *****
Access: *****

Debenhams Cafe, Stratford-upon-Avon

A small place, situated in a windowless room on the top floor. Not good on a sunny afternoon but perfect to shut out wind and rain. One of the few places to have a good selection of comfy seats and armchairs rather than a token couple of sofas. Coffee is a sustainable, organic brand. My latte was very rich, quite strong. Sandwich was disappointing. Not made on the premises and you can tell. Though the egg and cress filling was generous and tasty, for the best part of four quid I expect something more than limp white bread, clearly from a presliced, prepacked loaf.

In honour of the bard's birthday I had a cupcake liberally coated in appropriately bright partyshade-lemon with edible glitter and silently toasted the big man's big day. Tasty cake, decent tooth-coating swash of icing.

Access was fine with a lift that takes you directly to the cafe. Such a small place can get very crowded very quickly which can make it awkward for getting out.

29.6.12 Just a head's up - on a warm day this place is stiflingly hot. If there was air con I couldn't feel it.





Latte: *****
Access: *****

Caffe Nero, Stratford-upon-Avon

This is the nearest global coffee brand to Shakespeare's Birthplace; meaning that most of the other eateries on Henley Street might sell familiar brands like Lavazza but that does not form their raison d'etre. Consequently it can sometimes get full of younger tourists buying takeout and drinking in store. Not to say it is an objectionable practice but if you are concerned about access the clutter of people at the front of the store can be problematic. There are two steps to the back of the place that are not easily negotiable if you cannot get a table near the counter.

Staff are very helpful, though. And knowledgeable. Know all the regulars and their requests, know the music that is playing. My friend Kelley is right about one particular chair by the stairs. You are directly under the speakers so the music is loud in that spot. Check your mood and the music before you sit there. It is not a good spot if you are are feeling gloomy about the prospect of continued medication. Vivaldi's violin concerto in C, followed by Mozart's violin sonata in E Minor is not exactly conducive to a Patience on a monument mood.

But the staff are good. They even what the funny red bits were in my tuna melt panini. The latter was so-so; but then, we all know deep down that no matter what the advertised claims as to the artisan credentials of the food, if it is pre-packaged, it is not going to zing your taste buds. The coffee is too strong for me but I have a one shot and that is perfect. Creamy foam on the latte and one of the few places not to serve it in a tall glass. The cupcakes deserve a mention. They have the merit of being perfectly proportioned. Cake and icing are usually served in a ratio of CAKE: icing. In this case it is more cake: ICING. A small cake too; so at no point do you have to bite into plain cake without sweet sweet topping. It also serves the best cheesecake ever. The white and dark chocolate truffle cheesecake is truly magnificent. Marbled chocolate on a dense biscuit base that leaves very few crumbs and makes a satisfying clack when cut with a fork. A smooth, cloying topping with a firm texture. It is worth taking time over this. So dense is the topping that is retains its shape in your mouth. Resist the urge to plunge your teeth into it. Instead, hold it on your tongue for a while then compress it against the roof of your mouth. The cloying magnificence of it all might induce a fatal infarction; but what a way to go.




Access: *****
Latte: *****

Bella Italia, Stratford-upon-Avon

I am not a fan of pasta as a rule and have to be coaxed into consuming it by the promise of creamy white sauces and puddles of garlic butter; both of which this place happily provides. The starter was mini garlic bastioni with a garlic butter dip. Only here would one experience the joys of dipping bread into a bowl of melted garlicky fat, utterly guilt-free. The only danger is the scrum for the bread. The best advice is to divvy it up beforehand in a civilized sharing-platter way and avoid unseemly scrambles and a butter-spattered face.

My main was the spaghetti carbonara which was just how I like it. Spaghetti positively drowned in creamy sauce and cubes of salty ham. Drew's dish I can't remember but I know it had chunks of red pepper in it and chicken and he loved it.

We discovered a dessert offer that serves coffee and a smaller portion of certain puds at a reasonable £3.95. I had the latte, served in a glass, small amount of foam and piping hot. Drew opted for black filter coffee and chocolate torte. A generous cupful and the dearest, dinkiest slice of torte you have ever seen. If you are the sort that insists on dieting, it is perfect. Good for budgeting too; but I am too fond of pudding to make such unnecessary compromises. I can't comment on the flavour as I was not allowed to taste it.

Access is a little tight. There's a steep step up into the place but the tables near the window, if free, are roomy.



Access: *****
Latte: *****

The Cake Shop, Oxford

Once again the 'dreaming spires' of Oxford uplift the soul with unsurpassed beauty.